My dear sweet Lillian,
I had originally intended to write my feelings down in a journal which, I admit, would have probably been a little more special than a blog, but I was not able to keep up as well as I would have hoped. I wish I had captured in words a little more from your first 2 years in the handwritten journal, but what I have is still very precious to me, and I hope that you will enjoy reading it. Better to start now than just say that I gave up because it didn’t turn out the way I hoped. The great thing about this blog, however, is that I can add pictures, which are such a huge part of the fun in looking back on your life. The pictures got better in July of 2011 when we got our nice camera and will get even better after Christmas 2011 when I get Photoshop :). I will include the things from the handwritten journal as I wrote them in large block quotes. I might as well start with my first journal entry, written when you were 12 days old…
“So I decided that I would start a “lily” journal to record what a wonderful little person she is and what is happening in her life. I probably should have started during pregnancy, but it’s too late for that now :). I did however have a relatively easy pregnancy. A little morning sickness, but that didn’t start until the day I realized I was pregnant- so I think it was partially a mental thing. At about 6-7 months I started having more back pain so I stopped working sooner than expected. Towards the end of pregnancy I started retaining water like crazy! My hands and feet became very swollen, which got old really fast. With 2 weeks left until my due date of March 12th I went to the doctor for my weekly checkup. Everything seemed to be going fine until the doctor saw my swollen feet and ankles and then looked at my blood pressure. She told me to get dressed and that I would have to go to the hospital to be monitored for a bit. I got dressed and went to her office where she was on the phone with the hospital asking if they had room for me to be induced in 3 days or if they should just do it that day. I was kind of in shock because she was talking about everything so casually and because I was going to have my baby within the next 3 days! I went to the hospital and was monitored for about an hour and a half. The nurse then told me they were admitting me and were going to induce me that night and I wasn’t allowed to leave the hospital. At that point I decided I should probably call Clark and let him know what was going on :). He was in even more shock than I was. Our friend helped him pack things to bring to the hospital for me. He finally got to the hospital and we got settled in. The same friend, Ariel, brought us dinner since I hadn’t eaten since before my 1:00 appointment. At 6:00 pm the nurses gave me Cervadil, which is a drug to soften up my cervix to get me ready for labor. The plan was to start me on Pitocin at 6:00 am which would actually start labor for me. We just hung out that evening and watched some of the winter Olympics. We finally went to bed at around 11:00 pm. Man I wished I had gone to bed earlier! At 1:00 am I woke up because I didn’t feel very good. I kept getting up to go to the bathroom. I guess I didn’t realize I was having contractions (since they hadn’t actually induced me yet), but I asked the nurse to come and put the wireless monitor on me so I could keep getting up. She then decided just to check my cervix to see what was going on. At 2:00 am I was dilated to 6cm- over halfway there! Apparently that was very uncommon since Cervadil doesn’t actually start labor in most cases. My contractions escalated rapidly and became extremely painful. Clark did a great job at helping me during the contractions by pushing in on the places I was feeling pain in my back. At 4:45 am I got an epidural to relieve the pain. What relief! Though they did have to poke me 6 times to get an i.v. in my arm. By 5:00 am I was dilated to 8 cm. I went back to sleep for a bit. Our friend Ariel came back at 5:30 am with breakfast for us, thinking that I was still waiting to be induced (since I wasn’t allowed to eat after 6:00am). By 9:00 am I was fully dilated and at 9:30 am I started pushing. At 10:04 am Lillian Grace Stonehocker was born! Clark helped the doctor pull her out/ catch her. She was put on my stomach and Clark cut the cord. She wasn’t really breathing well, so they whisked her away before we remembered that we didn’t know if the baby was a boy or a girl ( since we waited to find out). They told us that it was a girl and we couldn’t have been happier. She was 8 lbs 3 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. Her birthday is Friday February 26, 2010. It was a total of 9 hours of labor. The nurses told me my body was made for making and delivering babies since it went so fast and smooth. I was very happy with how everything unfolded but I know Clark wishes he had more things to help me with/through. He was all the support I needed, though. Everyone (almost) from my side of the family came out and fell in love with Lily instantly. Clark’s mom flew out the next day and everyone else in the family will be out here next week for Lillian's blessing. Our friend Ariel came by on Saturday the 27th and took some wonderful pictures of our new family. I am so grateful for those treasures! On Sunday we got to go home from the hospital. Other than being sore and tired I am having a quick recovery.
Since being home from the hospital things have been going smoothly. Lily is very calm and quiet. She definitely has her fussy moments, but they are few and far between. She is eating like a pro! Definitely had no problems with that from day 1. Her umbilical cord stump fell off at 6 days old. At 1 week old we went to see a high school musical that one of our seminary students was in. Lillian slept through the whole thing! I was grateful but I couldn’t believe it as well since it was so loud in there. We went to church when she was 9 days old and she did beautifully there as well. I took her to the mall with my mom at 11 days old and she never let out a peep. I will have to work very hard at restraining myself when it comes to her clothes. Everything is so cute! I predict Lily will be a super shopper like her mom. I can’t believe how wonderful being a mom is and how precious Lily is to me and Clark. All of the lost sleep is more than worth it. I just wish I had a “pause” button for Lily so I could keep her like this forever. I’d even take her fussy times.
Oh- So when I first found out I was pregnant, I thought of the name Lillian Grace if it was a girl. For some reason I just felt very certain about it. We decided not to tell anyone which names we were thinking about before our baby was born and named. Back at Christmas I learned that Clark’s great grandma was named Grace Lillian. When she was born we (obviously) told everyone her name. Clark’s mom and some of his aunts all said that in the previous weeks they had been thinking a lot about their grandma Grace. We all kind of think it might be a sign that Grace Lillian might have finally accepted the gospel on the other side of the veil, or that maybe that Lily was a part of her teaching about the gospel. We can’t know for sure, but it’s an awesome thought. Maybe that’s why it took me a while to get pregnant- because Lillian was still busy and had work to do before coming to earth. Whatever the reason, I know she is a special spirit and we are so happy that she is entrusted to our care. I hope I can be a good enough mother for her. I hope she always feels loved and that she never questions our love for her. I hope we can teach her all she needs to know and that we can raise her to the Lord in righteousness. I wish I could protect her from any pain, sadness and trials in this life, but since I can’t I hope that I can help her to be a strong woman who knows who she is, who to turn to, and what things are really important in her life. Above all, I just want her to be happy and to stay on the path that leads back to her Heavenly Father. I pray that she can do so.
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