3 1/2 weeks

I wrote in my journal

“ Lillian is growing like crazy. We’re trying to put her in all of her small clothes before she grows out of them. She isn’t always fussing as much when we change her diaper, which is nice. Today was a little rough, though. I got even less sleep than normal last night and Lily was up nice and early today. Instead of napping while she went back to sleep, I decided to shower and eat. Stupid idea. When I finally went to take a nap she woke up again and was eating and fussing for about 2 hours. I finally had Clark’s mom take Lily because I was getting too tense. I knew that was part of the problem. It seemed to calm her down. I pumped some milk and laid down, but forgot to leave the phone outside of my room. After about 30-40 minutes of light sleep I got 4 phone calls. After that I gave up on napping for the day, but I already had a massive headache. My mom came over and helped me to relax by rubbing my head and feet. I’m definitely going to miss her help and reassurance when she goes back to Idaho next week. Hopefully I can get Clark to help me out with feedings tonight so I can get a little extra sleep. All of this would be really hard if I didn’t love Lily so much :) She’s worth it! I am facing a potentially awful result of pregnancy.Since Christmas I have been having trouble singing. My voice cracks and I can’t hit most of the high notes. It seems to be getting worse as time goes on. I have found articles on the internet saying that many women have had this problem. Some articles say that it goes away after you stop breast feeding and your hormones go back to normal. I would be devastated if I lost my voice, but it would be worth it so I could have my precious Lillian! I wouldn’t trade her for anything! We’ll just wait and see what happens.